One day, Pinocchio and his girlfriend were in bed doing what girls and wooden boys love to do. As they were cuddling later, Pinocchio could tell that something was bothering his girlfriend.
So, he asked her "What's the matter, baby?"
She gave a big sigh and replied, "You're probably the best guy I've ever met, but every time we make love you give me splinters."
This bothered Pinocchio a great deal, so the next day he went to seek some advice from his creator, Gepetto. Pinocchio thoroughly explained the perplexing matter, and Gepetto suggested that sandpaper might be able to "smooth out" Pinocchio's relationship.
Pinocchio thanked Gepetto for the advice and went on his way.
Gepetto had not heard from Pinocchio for a while and therefore assumed that the sandpaper had solved all of Pinocchio erotic problems.
Some weeks later, Gepetto was in town to have some of his wood-working blades sharpened at the hardware store when he ran into Pinocchio.
Pinocchio was buying up all of the sandpaper that would fit into his shopping cart.
Gepetto remarked: "Wow! It looks like things must be going pretty damn well with the girls."
Pinocchio replied: "Girls? Who needs girls?"
Badaboom Badabing...
