When I finally got to my destination last week, I checked into my hotel and looked for a place to eat dinner. I found a place on the Internet that was close by and looked pretty good, so I gave it a shot.
I almost always sit at the bar when I go out to eat. Less lonely, often better reading light, and I am almost always able to strike up a conversation or two if I'm in the mood. So, I squeeze into a barstool, order a glass of wine, and take a look at the menu.
A man and an attractive blonde woman are sitting to my left. He's probably mid-40's. She's more like early 40's. At first, I can't tell whether he's just making conversation or trying to hit on her. It takes a minute for my ears to adjust into eavesdrop mode, and I pick up the following tidbit of conversation.
Him: "So, do you have any siblings?"
Her: "No, I don't."
Him: "Oh, so you're an only child, then."
Her: "Oh no. I have three brothers and sisters."
He makes eye contact with me and rolls his eyes when she takes a sip of her drink. I couldn't help it...just had to laugh.
So, we just stumble into light conversation. He teases her a bit, offers to fly her to Vegas with him for the weekend, yada yada... Of course, I tell her the Bellagio is first class and that she should go.
"Really? Well, I don't know..."
Anyway, the guy asks me how old I am. I tell him I'm pushing 60. He can't believe it. Neither can she.
"Oh, my gawd, you don't even look fifty," she says with an admiring look.
Then she leans over and runs her hand over my shoulder and down my arm...did I say it felt really good?...and says, "Wow, you really look great."
Boing!! (Secret guy code)
Of course, I thank her for her compliment.
Then, the guy asks, "So, what's the secret to your youth? Do you have a daily regimen that you follow?"
Now, I could have been a wise ass and said something like "Yes, I owe it all to having incredible sex three times a day...every day...religiously." For a moment I thought it might be interesting to see how the woman would have responded. Then, maybe I'd have looked her right in the eye and followed up with "So far today it's only been twice. So I'm going to need it once more before midnight."
But, alas, I behaved, and just said "A bottle of wine and three cloves of garlic every day." She nodded knowingly, like I had just revealed some great key to life...and followed up with another pat on the arm.
Did I say I'm beginning to like this?
We talk a little more and he says, "You know, they say when a guy gets married he puts on an average of a pound each year. You don't look like you fit that statistic."
"Well, I'm actually the same weight as I was in high school." I paused.
"Yes, but instead of having a v-shape like I did back then, now it's more like a u-shape." (This is actually the truth.)
I looked at her and smiled. She half-smiled back, but I could tell she didn't get it. Then, she got a strange/confused look on her face like maybe I just said something dirty. The smile vanished and her gaze went back to her drink. A few minutes later she bid us goodnight and left.
No. I'm not going to make any blonde jokes :-)
Anyway, just another episode in wide world of Badabing's Travels.
Ciao for now.
Hmmm, I wonder if mr. kenju ever met her in his travels....LOL
So, you've now got a shape like a ewe? Hmmmm.
Are you really the same weight you were in high school? And if so, is it really due to wine and garlic?
John...hooves and all :-)
viki...yep, my weight fluctuates between 169 and 172. I was 170 my senior year in high school. I'm not sure if it's the wine and garlic...I'd like to think it plays a role, because I know it's not the sex ;-)... but I do eat a very mediterranean diet...lots of EVOO, garlic, fruits, veggies, fish, small portions of meat, lots of wine, both red and white. I pretty much only drink water, espresso, and wine, and sometimes pop a few Bombay Saphire & tonics in the summer. I stay far away from anything with high fructose corn syrup (which is included in most soft drinks) since I read somewhere that the body doesn't know how to process it and therefore turns it to fat.
Oh god...what a great post. There are so many people that don't get dry humor and claim to be intelligent.
Then there are people like your female dinner companion.
I'm rollin' here...and wine and garlic do work wonders. You can drink enough wine to forget that others exist and wear a chain of them to keep others away.
When I was a kid, and whenever I got a cold, my grandmother or mother would put a string of peeled garlic cloves around my neck while I was sleeping. The smell of that garlic would get on my pajamas & I couldn't stand it. For years I didn't want to get anywhere near a piece of garlic.
Post a Comment